Original Song of a Sister...

Yesterday (technically... though sleep has thus far eluded me) ended on a sad note...
My sweet daughters informed me: They're missing their sis!
'Bout made me cry... ='(='(='(
[ Hmm, before I share: Suppose I should fill in a few details, eh?
Yes, well, I have two daughters... And Li'l A makes three.
They are very aware of their sister's adoption AND the reasons why... And they're as okay with the whole thing as any children could be, I suppose, for which I'm incredibly grateful!
(I'm blessed they trust me enough to be as okay as they are!!!)
They're 7 & 5, marvelous, AND! we've got our li'l guy, who's 2. =)
*I'll refer to them as E, K, & Z... Since that's what I generally do when writing, anyway!* Oh, hmmm, I guess I'll do Momma E & "Li'l E"... Wow, we're funny with the first initials of our eldests' names! LOL! In mi familia it's Momma A & Li'l E!
And in hers it's Momma E & Li'l A! =)
Fabulous; ya gotta love little things like that!!! =)=)=) ]
Alrighty, so, back to the sad stuff:
So, Li'l E, & the gang (haha), are with their daddy tonight
(last night, whatever! Oh, & he's a good, pretty solid kinda guy, btw) & we talked on the phone as they were about to go to bed, & she told me she'd written a song for Li'l A...
Naturally, I was delighted! =) And listened raptly...
Surprisingly enough (only cuz she still tends to make up her own words, while keeping others' tunes), It was 100% original!!!
She really did write a song for her li'l sis, all on her own, & with such a sweet message!!!
It was priceless, & said more than words could... =') ='( =')
Then it was K's turn to talk &, not only did she share that she actually remembers some of her new kindergarten friends' names buuut, she also is missing Li'l A...
And wishing we could all go visit her...
(Not currently an option, unfortunately, as she's located 'cross the country and I can't afford plane fare. =(
But I know eventually... With patience & whatnot...)
K told me about how much she wants to hold her li'l sis...
And make sure she knows she loves her.
(See?! What'd I say about the crying? It was sooo sweet! & sad! Ahh, one word: Bittersweet...) So, then, Li'l E comes back & I tell her we'll try to record her song later, &...
She'd already forgotten it!!!
Poor girl, she was sooo disappointed! =(=(=(
(But what can ya do?? She is only seven! Retaining newly formed lyrics AND music is hard to do!!!)
I reassured her that she'll either remember it &/or write another one, since she obviously has the capacity for that type of creative expression, & promised them that Li'l A will still know she's loved by her big sisters.
I pray God helps all I've said be true...
And Li'l A will know how loved she is. Always.
(&, um... Yeah. I think I oughta try sleeping again, as it is now...
Wow. 4:31am... Yeah, gonna be a zombie tomorrow! G'night!)

Just Had To!!!

This whole blog may fizzle, but I Just Had To start it today! =)
I got done reading E's posts, on her blog, & felt a strong need to record my own feelings & attachment to our daughter...
Then realized that it'd be cool if both E & I had a blog together!
You know?
It'll be interesting to see how it shapes up! =)
My love for "li'l A" can never adequately be expressed, but I MUST TRY, especially since I am not there on a daily basis, as most mothers, & I must do all that I can to, hmmm... compensate for that absence... if you will.
E gives her own unique blend of mothering, for which there is no substitute, but she is not me!!! (Thank Heavens! Where we'd be without her, I don't even wanna think about!!!)
And so... Here I am: Momma A... Baring aspects of my soul,
for my daughter's sake...
And I pray that she'll have opportunity to absorb my love for her more fully, through this medium, as she grows & matures into the strong, beautiful, magnificent woman that she is.
Well, that settles it, doesn't it?
This blog may have no more than a few readers...
The posts may be far & few between...
But it most assuredly will not "fizzle"!
The passion that rose within it's first moments of creation is too strong to allow it to fade from existence: The passion of a mother's love for her child.
Though, it is more... because it is...
My passion. My love. My child.
My need for expression of such.
I love you, li'l A...